felicianeo.com – A Singapore Lifestyle, Travel, Beauty & Fashion Blog

“The only person who can make you happy is yourself.”

Outfit:
Elsie Crochet Layering Top from Ellysage
Watercolor Floral Skirt in Cream from oh! poupée

The Crochet top is like my favourite top of the moment. The details on it are so so pretty and intricate!

Link for the top: http://www.ellysage.com/product_info.php?cPath=28&products_id=333

Colourful floral prints on my skirt. I really like the bold colour combination of the prints. This is like the perfect summer skirt!

Link: http://www.ohpoupee.com/2011/06/available.html

(:

“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.”
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I’ll be in Genting from 30th-2nd August btw! This is like a much needed getaway for me. I need my rest! (Btw, some people have asked on my formspring what happened in my previous post.. Don’t worry it was just a normal random reflection post. Nothing happened between me and my boyf, we’re still alright!! Thanks for all the concern though!) I’ve scheduled posts in between to fill this space! Will have very limited internet access so do give me some time to reply any emails.

Ending off with a video I found of my late hamster. Watching him healthy and moving in the video somehow felt that he’s still there. I miss him.

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This is not going to be a happy post.

As mentioned in the previous post, my hamster was very sick. That very day the post was up, he passed on. I was in school that day and I told my brother I did not want to see his corpse when I reach home. (He asked me if I wanted to) I wanted to remember him like how he was when he was healthy.

Some people might think it’s JUST a hamster, not like it’s any bigger animal like dogs, etc. And they’re easily replaceable cheaply from any pet shop. But they missed out the point that it’s still a living thing and emotions build up over a period of time. I don’t know if I appeared ridiculous to my brother when he saw me crying all of a sudden while looking into the cage, or to my parents when I phoned them to want to bring him to a vet.

Ball Ball wasn’t my first pet, I had others back when I was younger. But my parents gave them away, so I didn’t know how it was like to see a pet die. I was never so emotionally attached to an animal as well, so this loss affected me pretty much. The 2 days when his condition became worse was the most unbearable period. It was really heart breaking seeing how he was suffering. One part of me was thinking it’ll be best for him to just go, so he’ll be free of his sufferings, whereas the other part of me couldn’t bear to part with him.

What I regretted most was not checking much on him the past week because I was really busy with school. Life is so unpredictable. One week he was fine, the other he was gone. On Tuesday (the day he was gone) when I saw him in the morning I sort of knew he wouldn’t make it. I had morning project meeting and lecture after that till late at night. I’m glad I decided to go late for my meeting so I could spend more time with him. I held him the last time in my arms and tried feeding him but he couldn’t eat anything. That day’s train ride to the school was the hardest ever. I found myself constantly feeling the urge to cry yet I couldn’t cos it was a public place. I find myself in a constant emotional battle the whole day. One moment I was fine, the next moment I felt like crying. And hearing news of his death didn’t come as a surprise and I was a little glad that his sufferings were over. I remember telling myself on the train ride back home that it’s the best for him, and well I was pretty calm. I thought I could handle it but once I reached home and seeing an empty cage, I knew it I wasn’t okay. It was as if I finally registered that I was no longer going to come home to someone greeting me when I come home.

I really dread seeing the shoe rack corner of my house (that’s where his cage was), because maybe I thought that if I pretended not to see that the corner is now empty, it would be as if he was still there.

Or maybe if I continue playing this GIF animation of him, it’d be as if he’s still alive.

But well, reality is cruel at times.

I just have to learn to accept that the shoe rack will always be empty, his old house as well.. And all the other things which used to belong to him will never be used again.

Some pictures so I can remember him the way I want to. I remember how I used to tell myself when I didn’t get nice shots of him that “I can always do it next time’. But what happens when ‘next time’ isn’t going to come? Too often we take for granted that something will always be there. It’s only when there’s a break in the pattern that we realise that it’ll never be the same anymore.

His favourite vege. Well, it’s his fave cos it’s my fave, and he always seem to enjoy eating it when we feed him that.

Yesterday during dinner I had that vege, and it reminded me very much of him.

Till now my emotions aren’t very stable yet. Sometimes I go around like nothing happened, and the next second I can just burst into tears. It’s like an emotional roller coaster and I hope I’ll be fine soon. This also reminded me how life is unpredictable. Things happen when you least expect it. And well, this might just be the last pet I ever have. It’s fun to have a pet when it’s all cute and healthy, but after this incident, I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle the grief.

I’m so sorry this is such a sad post, I never intended to post sad stuffs once I shifted to my new blog because well.. I didn’t want the negativity to affect people around me.

Ending off with a poem I always like and I think it’s very appropriate. No time/mood to do it nicely, so just a simple and somewhat ugly pictorial:

—
Comments/Questions, direct them to my formspring.
http://www.formspring.me/felicianeo

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Today marks 1 year since I’ve gotten my pet hamster!!! Omg time flies! I’ve never had an emotional attachment this much to the other pets I had before. Probably cos I was still young that time. I used to have 6 hamsters (2 at each time), and 2 rabbits! But well, none of them stayed with me for long. Most were given away. ):

Now that I’m older and *ahem* more matured, I guess this hamster will stay with me for longer. And I really love my Ball Ball alot. It was a birthday present I gave myself on my 20th birthday, and I purposely chose a Syrian breed which is sort of a loner breed and likes to live alone. So I can shower it with more attention!

There’s actually a story behind why I picked this hamster out of the rest in the litter. Ball Ball was innocently drinking water, and this white domineering Syrian hamster came over and attacked him. Ball ball fell to the ground and instead of attacking back, he just lay there and watched the stupid white hamster snatch his water!! So poor thing right.

He’s super super tame, but very timid as well. He gets all jumpy when there’s a crowd, but better when he’s more composed. The only time he bit me was when I squeezed him too hard.

Picture spam ahead!

Look at how small and scrawny he was when I first got him!!

HAHAHA!

He got big eyes like me!

Do you know that grey Syrians are rather rare? So far the pet shops I’ve been to they usually only have brown/golden syrians! Love how the colour of his fur turned out when he grew older.

His favourite place?

Sucking up all the food like a vacuum cleaner!

See what see! I’m 1 years old already big hamster already okay! *act fierce*

I don’t think I’ll ever get anything other than a Syrian breed next time. Syrians are much bigger and nicer to hold! Dwarfs are so small and fragile. Plus they run really fast. I prefer seeing and holding bigger pets hahah!

Scheduled a mini post on my 21st tomorrow! Toodles!

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Got something funny to share. Yesterday, the relatives came over and as usual, everyone’s thrilled by the hamster.

We were so noisy that the fellow stuffed himself in the pipes and slept uncomfortably along the arch of it. (-_-)  The only way to lure him out was by food. FYI, my hamster sleeps practically all day (only awake for a few hours at night) and only wakes up when he smells/hear food. Yeah, he’s super responsive to the shaking sound of food, you know the sound when you shake the packet.

Tadah. His new favourite snack. I got it out from this organic food hamper we had and fed it to him. Meant for human consumption actually but it looks so much like hamster food loh!

Okay anyway, we managed to lure him out of the pipes with the food. And my dad wanted him to crawl onto his hand, so we had to use food (again) to lure him onto his palm. We placed to food packet at the end of my dad’s palm and after much patience he did crawl onto the palm, THEN PROCEEDED TO DO THIS:

Zzzzz. Super greedy please.
Some pictures with some lame captions I thought of:

“OMG. BUFFET!!! I’m going to eat-all-I-can!”

“Oh wait wait, must say grace first: Thank you God for giving me such a wonderful opportunity to grow fatter”

“Itadakimasuuuuu~”

Hahaha. Actually he went head in first, and I was telling my Dad: “SEE LA! How is he going to come out like that. He’s going to finish up all the food inside before he comes out loh.”

But no!! After awhile, he emerged head out, so apparently he did a magical U-turn inside the bag. I’m amazed. Pris didn’t even felt him shifting himself when she held the bag.

Stop prodding laa!
Okok. One prod in exchange for 1 nut.

Where am I?!

What’s that colourful round thing on the table??
Can eat or not!

I DON’T WANT TO COME OUT ): ):

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Since we’re on the topic of my hamster, here’s a random pic taken quite awhile back:

Feeding him some Japanese cucumber I got as Appetisers from Shin Kushiya. (They served like raw cabbage, carrots and cucumbers and I just had to tabao them back for my hamster cos I don’t eat raw veges. HAHA.)
Damn pampered pls eat all the good food.

Ending of with my all time favourite pic of him:

Even though you’re lazy, greedy and smelly,
I still love you many many!
♥♥♥

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